Reading through the various musings I've written over the last several months, I've noticed that a good majority of them have dealt with the darker side of this life under the unrelenting sun. Eternal optimist that I am, there is - of course - a sprinkling of more comedic observations that I've managed to dig out of the sand (e.g., suicidal donkeys and Mohammed Cobain). Today I caught myself wondering if the pervading darkness in my writing is more a reflection of the author or the environment. I have a preference, but the thought remains.
The history and culture of the people I see on an almost daily basis is beyond any scope of understanding possible for anyone fortunate enough to have avoided birth into a land of such war and violence. Nearly every one of them has a relative who was killed or kidnapped or captured or one of any number of horrible fates that may befall a person. We attempt to bring law and justice to their chaos, the effect akin to spitting on a forest fire. Guilty ones, or perhaps those merely accused in an act of vengeance (often one in the same) literally tremble at the sight of the me and those wearing my costume, dressed to kill despite passing out candy to children and warmly receiving invitations to drink tea. They lie constantly and without a hint of hesitation, but never fail to offer us a meal for fear of appearing selfish. We eat the meal, smiling, laughing. Then maybe we arrest the people who offered it to us. Maybe not.
Emotions here tend to slip through the cracks, as they must, but reflections arise when the temporal metronome slows just enough to allow furtive thoughts to sneak past the unsuspecting guards against them. And reflections reveal almost the same as emotions, only without the conscience. I like to think that my ability to produce anything positive and light-hearted in such an environment is much more representative of my personality than some of the darker things I write. If not, I can always coax the happy side back out with an endless flow of beer upon my return to Germany.
Mmmm....beer.
5 comments:
Considering you were the kid that had the quote "Always look on the bright side of Life" posted on the side of the fridge at Moorland Lane.... I would say your core being is a positive, optimistic soul.
With or without the beer !
I completely agree with your mom.
The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 08/20/2008 News and Personal dispatches from the front and the home front.
That you can find anything positive in that desert is a testiment to your optimistic nature. To be able to find humor in it is just plain wonderful.
I for one happen to think you should start a band and call it Suicide Donkeys.
Don't forget the cream doughnuts when you get back to Bavaria.
Mmmm...doughnuts
:)
As an aside to everything, I have now heard two tracks from Death Magnetic and I'm VERY excited. I'll send you a copy when it's out.
Post a Comment